Despite your differences, you have no doubt that your co-parent is capable of taking good care of your shared children – when they’re around. However, your spouse has always held a high-level job that was demanding, so the bulk of the childcare has always fallen on you.
Now that you’re getting divorced, you’re concerned that your children will spend much of their time when they’re supposed to be with your co-parent in the hands of sitters, nannies and extended relatives.
A “right of first refusal” clause in your parenting plan might be in order.
How does a right of first refusal clause work?
This is a clause that can be included in a parenting plan that stipulates that, if the parent who currently has custody cannot care for the child during their designated time, they must offer the other parent the opportunity to take care of the child before seeking out alternatives.
In other words, you and your ex would have to call on each other before you can call a sitter or grandma. This arrangement can have a lot of benefits, including:
- More parental involvement: This gives both you and your co-parent the chance to be more involved in your child’s life, which can be a huge part of bonding.
- Consistency in the child’s environment: When a child feels like they are being shuttled around between too many different caregivers, that can affect their emotional stability.
- Flexible scheduling: This arrangement allows for maximum flexibility between co-parents, which can make it easier to manage regular schedule changes, on-call work and other commitments.
During the divorce process, it’s important to think ahead. When you spot a potential problem, working with someone familiar with custody plans can make it easier to find solutions.