The news of your impending divorce can send your children into a tailspin. They may experience a wide range of feelings, including sadness, confusion, anger and more. That is why you must break the news that you’re getting divorced as gently as possible.
Yes, children are resilient. However, traumatic events affect them. Because they are young and inexperienced in worldly matters, they may struggle to grasp what you are telling them.
Breaking the news
Gentleness and honesty are the keys to sharing the news that you’re getting divorced with your children. It’s best to have a family meeting with both parents present. Even though it may be difficult, sharing this news is important. Remember to prioritize your children’s needs over your own.
Reassure your children that their actions did not cause the breakup. Remind them that you both love them and that will never change. Present a united front, resisting the urge to blame your spouse, and answer their questions as honestly as possible.
Helping them cope
Understand that your children need time to process what you’ve told them. Tell them that you are there for them and they do not have to choose sides. Keep an eye on them and watch for signs that they may be struggling.
You should let their teachers know what is happening so that they can keep an eye out for any behavioral changes that could be related to the divorce. Signs to watch for include:
- Falling grades
- Anger or aggression
- Clinginess to the teacher or helper
- Anxiety or frequent crying
- Regression. This is often seen in children who are 6 years old or under.
If you or your child’s teacher notice any unusual behavior from your child, it might be a good time to enroll in family counseling. This can also be beneficial to you.
When you are ready to file divorce papers, seek assistance from someone who can help you through the process.