Co-parenting can be full of challenges, but some people can make things particularly difficult for the co-parent. They might do this because they always been difficult to work with, or because they are unhappy about how custody or other matters were allocated.
The following tips can help if your co-parent is being difficult towards you:
Expect them to try and bait you
It is easier to avoid falling into traps when you know to watch out for them. One tactic difficult co-parents often use is to try and bait their ex into arguments. They’ll drop something into the conversation that they feel certain will cause you to lose your cool. They might even do this when others are around, such as your kids or friends, to try and make you look bad in front of them.
Working out a tactic for dealing with these kinds of things is best. It might be to smile and say nothing, or pretend you never heard them. It might be to count to ten before replying or something else entirely. Whatever you choose, the aim is to avoid rising to their bait.
Reduce contact where possible
Do you have to personally hand your children over to your co-parent? Or could you ask a family member or friend to do it? Do you have to answer the phone every time your ex says they want to discuss something? Or could you make a rule whereby contact is via email only? Limiting the chances a difficult co-parent has to access you can reduce the chance they can ruin your day.
Document everything
Keep a record of the communications between you. Not only can it reduce the effectiveness of any attempts your co-parent might make to gaslight you, but if the problems persist, you could consider presenting that evidence to a court.
Courts expect co-parents to work together, and if one parent is behaving badly, they may consider measures to address the matter.